


Don't Ruin This For Me

by littleminilynn



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Hurt Klaus Hargreeves, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Sober Klaus Hargreeves, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 14:48:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20508791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleminilynn/pseuds/littleminilynn
Summary: During an important family meeting, the siblings notice how jumpy Klaus is. They decide to ask him about it.(It doesn't go well)





	Don't Ruin This For Me

The siblings sat within the vast living room of the Academy, scattered on the different chairs and couches and talking amongst themselves. A couple weeks had passed since they successfully avoided the apocalypse and they were now discussing what needed to be done in order to get the Commission off their tail. Sounds good, right?

Wrong. Klaus was barely paying attention, fidgeting in his seat as he mindlessly picked at his nails and twirled his fingers in his hair. The whole 'newly sober' thing was terrible, absolutely distasteful, and he strongly did not recommend it. Klaus had long since zoned out of the conversation, instead staring at the arm of the chair like it was the 8th wonder of the world, figuring that it would be better to keep himself occupied with other things than having to look up and around the room filled with the dead. The wailing was the worst of it, it was endless and non-stop and it made Klaus want to shove nails into his eardrums. As bad as it is, he was thankful to have his favorite ghost-bro with him. He really did believe that Ben was his savior. Dear Ben, sweet ol' Benny boy, who was doing his best to shoo the ghosts away from Klaus. It worked out as best as he could hope for, even if there were a few stragglers left behind who were more than a little stubborn. He finally decided to look up from picking at loose threads here and there, and boy was it still not a pretty sight. 

Ben was able to get the able-bodied ghosties away to somewhere else, so it only made sense that the worst of them were left behind. Looking to his left, Klaus saw what looked to be a woman in her mid-30s crawling around aimlessly, blood splattered everywhere on her torn clothing. He could see the mangled flesh and bone of what was left of her legs as they dragged along the pristine rug (even though Klaus knows that ghosts can't actually make things dirty in the physical world, it was still a pain to see them ruining all the well-kept items around the house). Trying to ignore the quiet wailing from the woman, he heard shuffling noises a few feet behind him which really piqued his curiosity, because really, how much more fucked up could this get? As he not-so-subtly attempted to look behind him, he physically flinched as he saw probably the saddest sight he's ever seen. A young boy, probably around 11 or 12, was continuously trying and failing to stand up, using the wall next to him as support. His entire left side was mangled and his arm and leg were almost conpletely gone. He was loudly sobbing as well, and the continuous 'shuffle, thump, shuffle, thump' of the boy's failed attempts at getting up only added to the heavy weight set in Klaus's chest.

As he slowly turned back around to face his siblings, he became aware of the fact they had just been calling his name. 

"--aus, hey!" He heard as he practically jumped out of his skin. He turned to face Luther, becoming wary at the irritated look on his face. Plastering on a grin, he shoved his feelings aside. "Yes, oh great leader?" He asked, moving his legs to sit criss-cross as his hands found their way to the hem of his shirt. Luther sighed in annoyance, the aura of his 'wise Number One' ego practically suffocating the room. "This stuff is important information, and you're completely missing it." He said. "Can you at least pretend like you're paying any attention?" 

Klaus sighed. "Sorry, I just didn't get much sleep. You and Allison can be pretty loud." He chuckled with a wink. Allison squeaked at the comment, glaring daggers at him. Luther just looked even more pissed off than before. "Now is not the time for games, Klaus! Are you high or something?" He spat.

Klaus froze, his eyes hardening for a moment. How dare he make such an accusation? Even though he hadn't been sober for long, and even if the cravings hadn't gotten any better, he still had worked his damn hardest to stay sober for as long as he could. Then, a new ghost caught his attention. The door to the living area was open just enough to see into the other room. His eyes widened only slightly as he saw a man in the top corner of the ceiling, hanging by his neck. Could that even happen? Could ghosts cling to the objects that had killed them? He wasn't sure, but he was thankful that he wasn't close enough to see all the gorey details of the man's body. Holy hell and a half, he couldn't take much more of this. Quickly, he snapped his attenrion back to the question at hand.

Klaus chuckled, leaning his head to rest on the back of the chair. He dug the heels of his palms into his eyes. "God, I wish." He chuckled, though there was no humor in it. "However, I do want to actually be a good person and use my powers in a positive light, something you're just not that accustomed to, hm?" He said. Luther sputtered at that statement. "Well, I was just... I-I mean.." He muttered. Five, the ever so observant little man, perked up at this. "What do you exactly mean by that, Klaus?" He asked. The man in question just let out a laugh at that. Oh, how funny this is! Did Luther really think he was always so high and mighty? Honestly, it was a little bit funny. Only a little.

"What Luther, so the whole 'choking me against a wall and throwing me across the room' bit was just for show? Just a one time thing?" He asked, staring at Luther. "I mean I get that your lil' old heart was broken because Daddy never cared about you, but still!" He giggled. Luther looked down at his lap in shame.

"I'm sorry, he did WHAT?" Diego yelled. What in the hell was Luther thinking? Some leader he was. The other siblings just stared at Luther, and even Allison stepped away from him with a look of betrayal in her eyes. At this point Klaus wasn't really even paying attention, the crying of the boy behind him being a little more distracting, and the woman on the floor was attempting to crawl up Klaus' chair. He became more anxious and riled up as the seconds went on, his eyes flickering from Luther, to his other siblings, and back to the lady on the floor. He really couldn't handle much more of this. 

Five, who had been sitting on a stool at the bar, had noticed his brothers jitters. He was trained to be a top-of-the-line assassin, afterall. "Hey, Klaus." He said, watching as Klaus' eyes trailed over from that same spot on the floor, all the way over to land on Five's face. "What are you looking at?" He asked, genuine curiosity on his face. The separate conversation caught the attention of their other siblings which then broke up the verbal argument that Diego and Luther were having. Klaus hummed at the question, clearly flinching every few seconds. "Hm? Oh, it's noth--nothing." He stuttered as his eyes flickered over to the carpet. Five's eyes squinted at the floor, as if he was willing to make whatever Klaus was supposedly seeing appear out of thin air. Five scoffed. "Bullshit," he said. "You've been staring at that spot for at least 5 minutes now, plus the fact that you've been jumping around ever since we sat down." 

Honestly, at this point, Klaus was internally screaming. Would it be best if he just told them? Maybe they would think he's still on drugs. They never believed him. Ever. When he said that he could see Ben, no one believed him. Every time he brought it up, they would grimace at him with a look of pity and anger. There was really no solid way out of this without people getting mad. "Klaus," Diego spoke up. "If you're, I mean.. if--if you're using again, you can tell us, okay?" He said, carefully choosing his words in a slow manner, as if talking to an injured animal or a small child. Klaus' jaw clenched in anger at those words.

Turning his head to look at his brother, be glared daggers that would give Diego's knives a run for their money. "Are you kidding me?" Klaus asked, voice low and small. A bubbling ball of anger was slowly rising inside his chest, his head, his everything. His mind was a mix of hurt and sadness, pain and panic. He didn't understand why they all thought so lowly of him all the time. "That's really what you think of me? That I'm doing drugs again?" He said. Diego's gaze was flickering towards Klaus and the floor. The whole room was silent.

Klaus wasn't having any of it. "No, you don't get to fucking do that, Diego. You don't get to just accuse me of doing drugs again and then not say anything!" He said, voice increasing in volume. All of his other siblings were absolutely silent. They haven't heard Klaus swear or get mad like this in years, they weren't used to this side of him. Even Five was quiet, no sharp comeback on the tip of his tongue. Klaus looked around the room is disappointment. "You know what? No. I'm done. You can all go have your stupid fucking meeting in hell." He snapped, making his way towards the door. He did not work his ass of for weeks on end with withdrawals, nightmares, cold sweats, mind-melting fevers and cravings for his family to assume he would go back to using again with the snap of their fingers.

"Klaus," Vanya said. She had been silent this whole time, but she couldn't stand her favorite brother being mad at them, at her. "Just wait, please! Diego didn't mean any harm by that.." She said, her voice dripping with overwhelming sadness and pity. Klaus stopped at the doorway for a moment before slowly turning to face them. "You know, Vanya, you of all people should know how hard quitting drugs are, right?" He asked, no real concern left in his tone. "What, with daddy dearest filling you up with his special pills. Making you all normal and emotionless, hm?" He asked with a hollow grin. "You should be thankful for those damn pills. Maybe those were for the better." He spat.

Five piped up at this. "Klaus, what the hell!" He said angrily. "Don't you realize how fucked up those made her?" He asked, slamming down his margarita or whatever the hell his choice of drink was. Klaus groaned in annoyance. "Yes, Five. I do! I think taking those pills would be absolutely wonderful!" He said, bending over so he was eye level with Five. "Do you know how much better my life would be if I had those pills? How much easier everything would be?" He asked. God, how we wanted those pills. How he needed those pills. Five grit his teeth in anger. "Okay, I get that drug cravings can be difficult, but isn't this going over the line?" He asked.

Klaus dropped his head. He collected himself for a moment before standing up straight, clasping his hands together. "Mhm, Five?" He asked. "Do you exactly.. know, how my powers work?" He asked again, as if he were teaching students in a classroom. "You can see dead people, why the hell does that matter?" Five sighed in annoyance. The others just scoffed, irritated by Klaus' antics once again. "Correct! But do you know what they look like? Do you think they're just pleasant little people walking around, going about their deceased days?" asked Klaus. There was something in the tone of his voice that put them all on edge. Where was he going with this?

Five had no response to this, instead looking at his brother quizzically. It was no surprise that the fidgeting was back, his eyes were glancing around the room too. "Truth is, Fivey, you have no idea what it's like. You don't even have a clue!" He exclaimed. "What I see day in and day out is hell. It is torture, and it has been horrible since the day my powers manifested." Klaus said in a low voice. Diego looked at his brother, concern slowly pouring into his eyes. "What d'you mean?" He asked. He leaned forwards, elbows resting on his knees. 

Good god, this was hell. Why the hell was he even talking about this? They didn't deserve to know anything about him, since they clearly trusted him oh so well. "Do you wanna know what I've been looking at then, Dee?" Klaus started. His eyes flickered over to the legless woman, their gaze locking as she started dragging herself towards him. "There... there's a woman. On the floor." He said. His eyes never left hers. "She has no legs. She's been crawling around for a while now, actually." He muttered. "She's been bleeding everywhere too. It's not a pretty sight." He stepped back to sit down in the chair. Meanwhile, his siblings were staring at him with concern and a little bit of panic.

"And behind me? That one's not a pretty sight, either!" Giggling almost maniacally, he turned to look at the wall behind the chair he was in. Diego sat up a little straighter, Luther, Allison, and Vanya paying more attention, and Five looking around the room as if he could see them himself. Klaus' voice wavered as he talked now, he could feel a lump in his throat. "There's a boy, probably around 11 or so. Just a kid, can you believe it?" He asked to nobody in particular. "His whole left side is... is gone. He doesn't have an arm or a leg." He said quietly. At this point, Diego had begun inching towards his brother, but Klaus didn't pay any attention. "He's been trying to get off the floor for probably hours, but he just can't seem to get a good grip on the wall." He continued on, becoming more disheveled as the seconds went on. "Klaus.." Diego started. He looked back at his siblings with a slightly panicked look in his eyes. They all just shrugged at him, they didn't know how to deal with this either. Words kept tumbling out of Klaus' mouth, though. "I can see his flesh and his muscle. I can even see his bones. What a fucked up anatomy class this is, huh?" The blunt words kept falling past his lips. "There's blood everywhere and it's on the floor and all over the wall and I really wanna go help him even though I know it won't help, because why would it? He's dead and he's crying and they're all crying and screaming and wailing and screaming because they're dead and--"

He was cut off by hands grasping his arms. Dark brown eyes locked onto his, a pleading look within them. "Klaus," Diego said quietly. "You need to calm down." He said, but Klaus wasn't stopping though. "And, in the other room?" He asked, nodding his head to the side. "There's a man. He's hanging from the ceiling." He stated. All the others were staring at him in muted horror. Klaus, at this point, was panting from the over-exertion of letting free his emotions. Tears had already gathered in his eyes. The unmistakable grumbly-as-usual voice of Luther cut through the silence. "Uh, Klaus, why exactly are you telling us this?" Scoffing quietly and shrugging off Diego's hands, Klaus turned to face Luther. "Why?" Klaus echoed.

"Why? I'm telling you this so you can understand how fucked up my life is. How would you like to see death every single day? Go to sleep with the screams of the dead?" He questioned. His eyes scanned over to his other siblings. "Do you guys even know why I got into drugs in the first place??" He asked, more persistent this time. Each one of them were looking anywhere else but him. It was pathetic, really. They constantly made fun of him and doubted him, fired him up and then left him with nothing to burn. Yet they can't even think of anything to say, how funny.

"Drugs were my normal." Klaus muttered. His voice had no bite to it, no anger or hurt. Only pure sadness, like he had given up right then and there. "Did you know they make the ghosts go away? I get high and then they're gone. I drink, they go away." He said. The others looked up at him, not one of them missing the tears that dropped into his lap. Diego had moved to sit on the floor in front of him and held his hand on Klaus' ankle, offering some support, as little as it was. 

Klaus picked his head up and rested his head on the back of the chair, letting the tears cascade down his temples and into his hair. Nobody dared to speak up now. "Do you now how happy that made me? I had my first shot when I was 13, 'nd then I went to bed after a few more of them. That was the first time I slept in absolute silence. I-- I cried for an hour after I woke up, because I hadn't heard silence like that in.. in forever." He whimpered. He reached his hand up to wipe at his cheeks even though it didn't do much. "After every single rehab visit I would go right back to using. I just couldn't handle the screaming." The others were now deep in thought, all feeling varying degrees of sadness and hurt. Allison and Vanya were tearing up or already crying, and Luther looked the guiltiest. Five had his eyes narrowed at the ground in front of him, his hands in a vice grip on his glass. Diego's jaw was set and he was really trying his hardest not to get too emotional; this was a rare thing, for Klaus to be this vulnerable and open. He didn't want to ruin any of the progress they were making.

"I've tried my damn hardest to stay sober for this long. This isn't easy in the slightest." Klaus let out a small sob. "None of you trust me, I can see that much is true!" Shrugging off Diego's hand, he moved to stand up. "I've worked my absolute fucking hardest to stay sober for us to be able to do this, to work together," He said as he for up and walked to the doorway. Nobody moved to stop him. "I'm not gonna let you guys ruin that for me." He said lowly, tears still running down his cheeks as his shoulder brushed past the wall on his way out.

His siblings sat in silence.


End file.
